Mixed Up Reality

The blur between what is actualy real and what is not has to be circunvented in my every day life for me to, carry on, hold on to the wee bit of sanity I have, live with out my world crumbling around my ears ( if it all ready hasn't) I mean there is no difference in my head at this time between what is real and what is not and what has hapened and what has not, this is not because I am too stupid just I may be a little bit I realy do not have all the awnsers and am happy not to, to find out my self or to have to ask fills me full of excitment, antisipation, not so much nerves/ paranoia as those can be distructive. So as you can get a feel I am going to avouid the truth/ yes truth is going to be the most aloof thing in my life because? Beacause I have had to burn the conections in my conscience as they don't bear the fragile nerves that contain them and I have lost my mind many times.